So it’s been a long time…In my defense we have been super busy (purchased a foreclosed home, had to do renovations, moved, continuing projects on the home, and then just dealing with regular life.)
But really the biggest reason why I haven’t been posting is because I’ve been wallowing and I am not proud of it. Generally I am one of those people who takes what is coming, deals with it and makes the most of it. But I guess everything just got to me and I got into a funk. It is hard to know that many of the things you would like to do have to be put on hold because you don’t have the finances to do them. But I got into the trap of thinking that I couldn’t be the person or mother I wanted to be because we didn’t have the funds to do or have certain things. Ouch! Just seeing that in black and white makes me realize how destructive and silly that is.
A few things helped me pull out of it. The biggest; my son. I overheard him playing pretend a few days ago with his stuffed animals. He had placed one off to the side and one of the other animals said, “what’s wrong with Mr. Bear?” “He is sad,” answered one of the other animals.” “Why?” “Because he doesn’t have enough money to come with us.” Oh my! I wanted to cry. I’ve tried to teach my son in six year old terms, that money is a resource that we need to use wisely. And that we can be resourceful and happy despite our financial situation. Obviously my actions lately were speaking way louder than what I was saying to him. Teaching my son that having or not having money does not define you as a person was huge motivation for getting my act together. Plus there is no one else who is going to teach him that. It’s all too easy to learn through tv, media, peer pressure etc. that money defines you.
Plain old simple hope was the other one. The reality is that we have a great family and support group. I know that if anything happens we have people who would do anything in their power to help us and I wasn’t treating those people very well because I was upset with a situation that they have no control over. (There has been a lot of apologizing). I’ve learned that I have to keep looking at the bright side of things and focusing on what I can control. I can’t make someone give us a job that will provide for us the way we would like. We’ve done what we can do (both my husband and I are college educated and we are constantly looking for work).
So there it is. I hope something I share here will help someone else.